Struggling with intimacy or sexual issues in a relationship can be deeply challenging and often difficult to discuss. Many couples face these challenges at some point, and seeking professional help from a sexologist can be a powerful step toward rebuilding intimacy and connection. However, convincing your partner to see a sexologist may not always be easy. It can be a sensitive topic to bring up, especially if one partner feels embarrassed, defensive, or hesitant. Here are 9 ways to learn to convince your partner to meet a sex doctor.
1. Start With Empathy and Understanding
Before jumping into the conversation, it’s essential to come from a place of empathy. Sexual issues can be deeply personal, and your partner may already feel vulnerable. Instead of framing the conversation as something your partner needs to "fix," emphasize that this is something you want to explore together as a couple. Make it clear that your seeking help is a way to grow closer and not a critique of their performance or your relationship.
Example: "I’ve noticed that we’ve both been feeling a bit disconnected lately, and I want us to be able to enjoy our intimate moments again. How do you feel about talking to someone who could help us get back to that place?"
2. Normalize the Idea of Seeking Help
Sexual health is just as important as physical or mental health, but there’s still a lot of stigma around talking about it. Remind your partner that seeing a sexologist is like visiting any other health professional. Just as people go to a doctor for physical ailments or a therapist for mental well-being, a sexologist can help with sexual concerns.
Example: "Seeing a sexologist is no different than seeing a doctor if we have a persistent headache. It's about getting professional advice so that we can feel better and more connected."
3. Focus on Mutual Benefits
If your partner feels that they’re being blamed or that the issue is solely about them, they may become defensive. Instead, frame the conversation around the idea of shared benefits for both of you. Highlight how consulting a sexologist can enhance not only your sex life but also your emotional bond.
Example: "I miss how close we used to feel, and I think talking to a professional could help us understand each other better. It’s something we could do together to strengthen our connection."
4. Share Personal Feelings Instead of Assigning Blame
When discussing sensitive topics, it’s crucial to use "I" statements rather than "you" statements. This way, your partner won’t feel accused or judged, which could cause them to shut down.
Example: "I’ve been feeling a little lost about how to reconnect physically, and I think getting some guidance could really help me understand what I can do better. Would you be open to exploring that with me?"
5. Address the Stigma Head-On
One of the biggest reasons people resist seeing a sexologist is fear of judgment or embarrassment. If your partner is hesitant, acknowledge their fears and validate their feelings. Share that it's okay to feel nervous, but reassure them that sexologists are trained professionals who handle these issues with confidentiality and compassion.
Example: "I know it might feel uncomfortable to talk about this stuff with someone we don’t know, but sexologists are experts in helping people just like us. They’re there to support us, not judge us."
6. Offer to Take the Lead on Finding the Right Professional
Sometimes, the idea of finding a specialist and scheduling an appointment can be overwhelming. Take the initiative to research sexologists, read reviews, and shortlist a few options. Offer to go together to the first appointment or even schedule a virtual session if that feels less intimidating.
Example: "I found a couple of professionals online who have great reviews. I can take care of scheduling an appointment if you're open to it. We can even do it together online if that feels easier."
7. Give Your Partner Time to Process
Bringing up the idea of seeing a sexologist might be a lot for your partner to take in. Respect their need for time to think it over. Let them know that the conversation doesn’t have to be decided right away and that you’re open to revisiting it when they’re ready.
Example: "I don’t need an answer right now. I just wanted to share what I’ve been thinking. We can talk about it more whenever you’re ready."
8. Be Open to Compromise
If your partner remains hesitant, consider alternative steps that can still move you in a positive direction. For instance, suggest reading books on intimacy together, watching educational videos, or even trying a couples’ workshop before committing to seeing a professional.
Example: "If you're not sure about seeing a sexologist right away, how about we start by reading a book together? Then we can see if we want to take the next step."
9. Acknowledge the Courage It Takes
If your partner agrees to see a sexologist, acknowledge the bravery it takes to step into that vulnerable space. It can help them feel validated and more willing to engage in the process.
Example: "I really appreciate that you’re open to this. It means a lot to me, and I think it’s a big step for us."
Conclusion: Building a Stronger Connection
Convincing your partner to see a sexologist is ultimately about nurturing your relationship and deepening your bond. The key is to approach the conversation with love, patience, and empathy. If you think you need help or guidance, consult the top sexologist in India, Dr. Sudhir Bhola, online or offline.
